Choosing yourself takes courage because it is a monumental act of declaring your value. As humans, we have five basic needs: survival, belonging, power, freedom and fun. When we make the decision to choose ourselves, we threaten our sense of belonging, as we are declaring that our needs and desires are more important to us than those of anyone else. This is a radical act of self-love because it often conflicts with our need to be loved by others.
Choosing yourself is much easier said than done at times. Society has conditioned us to feel guilty when we slow down or anxious when saying “no” to someone. All our lives we were taught how to choose other things or people, not ourselves.
This is where ‘people pleasing’ comes in. It’s a common habit most of us pick up on at a young age as a survival technique. We never realize it until we become mindful about our decision making. “Am I doing this for me or for someone else?”
To choose yourself, is to open a door to your true self. You are embracing yourself, no matter how many people may walk out the door you’ve opened for yourself.
It is the ultimate expression of your own freedom.
When fighting for yourself, you become more aware of what it means to validate yourself. To trust yourself. To respect yourself. To love yourself.
It’s about having courage to lead the life you want and not just accept the responsibilities you picked up as you grew into adulthood.
Facing the world as your authentic self takes a lot of backbone. Especially when people shame you for it.
Choosing yourself will take practice. It doesn’t happen overnight for everyone. You may fall back into your old habits at times, and that’s completely okay. We are all human. As long as you make the intention to choose yourself on a daily basis, you are on the right path.
Everyday is a new beginning. A new day to learn more about yourself. You’re learning to be truthful with how you see the world. How you experience it with your own senses. You’re learning how to connect with the world in a way that may seem invalid or off for most people. But that’s not for you to fix.
When you listen to your intuition to make a hard decision, you are fighting to stay connected to your true self. So continue fighting hard to stay connected to your most authentic self.
In the comments below, describe what your most authentic self looks and feels like.
“Choosing yourself is fighting for yourself. It is learning to walk the path of striving to be truly free. It is being brave enough to accept disappointment even from the people closest to you and facing rejection where you least expect it. Choosing yourself is not just saying yes to yourself. It is learning to say no to the world and not feel guilty about it.” – Darren Siao
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