Many common depictions of a bad boyfriend are pretty extreme. They feature prominent red flags that would set off alarm bells for virtually all self-respecting women. In reality, a bad boyfriend is not necessarily someone who is obviously and overtly malicious.
In most cases, guys will not display their negative traits in ways that would easily scare someone off. However, you’ll have to pay close attention to signs that your relationship dynamic could be toxic. Here are five signs of a bad boyfriend, so avoid these guys!
Editorial note: We also acknowledge that some women are bad girlfriends. Because male and female behaviors often differ, we address those bad girls in a separate article.
1. A Bad Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Time For You
Everyday life can get busy, so you may not see your boyfriend as often as you’d like. But research shows that quality time is a crucial part of happy relationships and marriages with high satisfaction. So what makes the difference between a bad boyfriend and a busy one?
When we schedule our busy lives, we do what we can to pencil in the things we consider essential. You might, for example, make sure you always have a couple of hours free on weekend nights to spend with friends or family. Or you may ensure that you always spend 45 minutes every day at the gym and leave double that time free so you can shower, commute, and work with the inconveniences of that priority.
We can actively choose what we consider necessary enough to spend time on. A bad boyfriend will not consider women of the things on this list. You may see him very little or talk to him much less than you’d like to. As such, the following circumstances may apply to a bad boyfriend.
2. Lack of Responsiveness
He doesn’t reply to texts or return calls quickly. Of course, no one will constantly be glued to their phone, and your boyfriend will occasionally be too busy to get to his phone at work or in other circumstances. But he shouldn’t be taking days to reply to a text or refusing to call you, even when he has a lot of time to spare. If he’s decided that talking to you is at the bottom of his to-do list, he’s not making the necessary time for you.
3. Dodging You
It feels impossible to get him to spend time with you. When you ask him to hang out or come over, he doesn’t seem to have the time. No matter how much space you give him and how little you ask for, he may act like you’re requesting the impossible. When you express how you’d like to see him more, he reacts in highly negative ways, behaving almost as if you’re attempting to ruin his life and free time.
4. Inattentiveness
When he spends time with you, he’s not truly present. A bad boyfriend may keep up appearances by agreeing to go on dates, but he’ll not really be there. Instead, he’ll be on his phone, a poor conversationalist, and may always seem lost in thought. You might feel he doesn’t want to be there at all, or you might have trouble connecting with him. Either way, he’s only physically present, not mentally.
5. Making Excuses
There’s always an excuse. So when you talk about wanting to spend more time with him, he constantly has a reason to throw out. Yes, life can be busy, and sometimes balancing a schedule is brutal. But a …
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