There is a very common perception that positive is better than negative, and that a positive mindset is a very good thing. While this isn’t entirely wrong, the place of positivity needs to be understood more clearly.
Sometimes in life, we can get deeply mired and stuck in negativity. If we find ourselves complaining a lot, ruminating, overthinking and focused on everything that is wrong and can go wrong, then positivity is a very good idea. In such a case, approaches like a gratitude journal, positive affirmations and the like can help bring about a much needed balance.
And it is ” balance” which is the keyword here. Without balance, we go to one extreme or another, and extremes lead to distress. While we are very familiar with the downside of excess negativity, but very few of us are aware of the downside of excessive positivity.
Let us compare what excesses do
- Excess negative energy leads to:
- Pessimism to the point of missing opportunities
- Low self-esteem, focus on mistakes, poor confidence
- Dullness, lethargy, unable to deliver responsibilities
- Neediness, clinginess, codependency ruining relationships
- Emotional eating, lack of exercise ruining health
- Abandonment issues, rejection, abuse, getting bullied
- Blockages and obstacles in relationships, career, health
- Lack of empathy
- Lost in the past, ruminating, depressed, hopeless
- Excess positive energy leads to:
- Optimism to the point of overlooking real risks
- Over-confidence, superiority complex, ignoring mistakes
- Hyperactivity, fluctuation between too high and too low energy if it goes too far, taking on more than is comfortable
- Overly detached, afraid of commitment
- Too much control over food and exercise, forgetting to enjoy the body and food
- Violating boundaries, giving unsolicited advice, thinking/ acting like others know less, are less, have less
- Walking away from problems in life because trying to fix things is too much effort. Escapism, denial, idealism
- Over-empathetic, picking up negativity from other people
- Lost in the future, day-dreaming, anxious, impractical
On a physical level, excessive negative energy leads to problems like sleeping too much, infections, congestion, and excess weight, whereas excess positive energy leads to problems like insomnia, headaches, allergies, vertigo, cancer, etc.
Strive for Balance
For us to live a balanced, thriving life, we need to have a strong healthy positive as well as a strong healthy negative. Positivity allows us to be confident and see opportunities in obstacles, whereas healthy negativity balances this with the capacity to perceive potential roadblocks so that we can be well prepared for them. Healthy positivity allows us to maintain the right amount of detachment and space in relationships, while healthy negativity allows for the right degree of attachment and vulnerability, and so on.
As healers, we tend to request or wish for positivity, and this can get us into trouble. Not just this, positive energy tends to shift…
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