Apologizing is not as easy as it might seem at first. Sometimes, a simple “I’m sorry” does the trick. But other times, you need to do much more when you’ve genuinely hurt someone. If you want your apology to make an impact, you need to make an effort to craft it. And no, contrary to popular opinion, that doesn’t mean the apology is fake.
A well-constructed apology is no more or less genuine than any other apology. A simple apology can be the fakest thing possible. And a planned apology can be as sincere as it gets. But knowing the steps you need to take to construct a meaningful apology can make all the difference. You are less likely to be forgiven when you offer a fake apology.
Even if you are genuinely sorry, you must know what to tell people. If you want forgiveness, you must know how to communicate that properly. It also helps to have a plan because of how stressful and emotional these situations get. A guideline can help you when you stumble or choke up on your words.
7 Steps to a Powerful Apology, According to Psychology
Apologizing is very hard because you want to ensure you are concise and clear. But, on the other hand, the last thing you want to do is create more issues because you don’t know how to communicate. So, if you want to know how to handle apologies better, psychologists recommend these seven steps.
1 – Acknowledge Your Mistake When Apologizing
There’s nothing worse than receiving an apology from someone who doesn’t even acknowledge they made a mistake. Right from the bat, you can feel just how fake that apology is. If you say “I’m sorry” to get out of trouble, that doesn’t mean much. Even if you temporarily get off the hook, problems will return.
So, for a good apology, the first thing you need to do is recognize your mistake. Then, listen to the one you’ve hurt and see where they’re coming from. They will tell you what the problem was and why they got mad. And you need to keep an open mind and understand what you did wrong. As soon as you do, you’ll be able to empathize with the one you’ve hurt. That way, you’ll be able to construct a better, more genuine apology.
2 – Be Honest and Authentic in Your Apology
The most important factor of a good apology is being honest. No matter how well-crafted your apology might be, no lie could compare to the truth. Admitting your fault goes a long way. Even if it’s scary to admit that you messed up, it’s the best way you can move forward. But before being honest with someone else, you must be genuine.
After you make a mistake, your instinct might be to get defensive. You might want to make excuses and do anything to save face. You might even try to convince yourself that lying to them might be the best option. After all, what they don’t know can’t hurt them. Well, wrong. Remember that the truth will always come to the surface.
It’s always better to acknowledge what you did and own up to your mistakes. Of course, the worst thing that could happen is not getting the forgiveness you seek. But at least you know you were honest up until the end.
3 – Apologize as Soon as Possible
One of the best things you can do if you want …
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