Question 1: What am I aiming to change, achieve, or overcome by going out of my comfort zone? In other words, why am I doing this?
Try to have a “big picture” answer and come up with a strong “why.”
For example, if you have to go to a job interview and you are really nervous and don’t want to do it, focus on your why beyond just getting this job. Focus on what getting this job will mean for you, how it will benefit you, and how it will change your life for the better.
Your “why” has to be really strong and positive in order for you to want to go out of your comfort zone. Even if there is no other “why” then to grow as a person, you have to attach some sort of meaning.
Always redirect focus from how uncomfortable you feel to WHY you are doing this, and the reason will always override your discomfort because your reason is always bigger than your fear.
Question 2: What is the worst that can happen?
If feeling really anti going out of your comfort zone, identify the worst things that can happen if you do.
You will be really really anxious and nervous, you will feel lonely, scared, and vulnerable, you’ll have to face your deepest and darkest self (the shadow), feel immense pain and hurt, feel completely lost, feel like you’re losing a part of yourself, feel out of control, be really emotional, you might look stupid, sound dumb, get made fun of, get laughed at, or get criticized, you might make a mistake or fail, have an anxiety attack, shut down, be miserable for a while, or not get the result or feeling that you desired from this change.
Ok. So those are the worst things that can happen. You can’t run away from these possibilities. But you also can’t fixate on them.
So what happens if they actually happen?
You will feel a whole bunch of uncomfortable emotions, have hurt feelings, feel immense fear, pain, and discomfort, question your choices, wonder if you’d made a mistake, and hate yourself for a little while.
But THEN what?
You will realize that you are……. still enough. Just the way you are. And that you will ALWAYS have yourself to rely on. Always.
The truth of who you are did not get diminished from this experience, fear and pain. You are not less than you were before. In fact, the truth of who you are became more alive. More realized. More aligned.
With time, you will process the pain, you will learn from the experience, you will let go, and you will heal. And you will also grow tremendously as a person.
There is nothing that can happen to you that will break you. There is only growth.
And then, a new you will emerge. The strong, courageous, brave, confident, and authentic YOU will be born.
Make peace with the worst case scenario and accept that it can happen, and that if it does, you will be fine; you will survive, and you will come out stronger than you ever imagined yourself to be.
Question 3: Would I regret it if I didn’t do this?
Imagine yourself tomorrow, next week, in 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 30 years from now thinking back to this moment…would you regret not stepping out of your comfort zone?
Would you regret not taking this step, making this move, facing this challenge, or overcoming this fear?
Would you regret it if you avoided doing something just because it would make you feel uncomfortable? Could you live with that truth?
It’s so much easier to step out of our comfort zone if we know we would regret not doing so later, so always ask yourself this question.
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