“Before you heal someone, ask him if he is willing to give up the things that made him sick.” – Hippocrates
This is such an important question in a healing practice. It is also probably one of the most difficult questions for a healer and client to thrash out and come to a mutual understanding of what the “healing” process entails.
Many clients come to me and ask me to “fix” them. Only yesterday while participating in a drumming circle, my neighbour-drummer wanted to give me challenge… to successfully heal him from an ailment he is suffering from and “cure” him of it… to do what others failed to achieve.
As a healer I find that this expectation “to fix” one of the most difficult things to deal with. In many instances it is precisely this expectation that stands in the way of the healing process.
As long as there is some level of “benefit” and comfort in illness and dis-ease, it is unlikely that a person will heal or make any efforts towards their own healing process. It is often easier to stay in the holding pattern created by illness and disease than to step into the discomfort of recreating the narrative of your reality, giving up the things that brought you to where you are. It also requires taking responsibility for your health and wellbeing, stepping into your own power, validating yourself and fully embracing your true authentic self… the light and the dark… to love, honour, accept and respect yourself.
So, what is typically required prior to embarking on the journey towards healing… And this is something that I use as pointers and discussion points with my own clients to create a mutual understanding around the expectations of me guiding and supporting them in their healing process:
- An understanding that we are at least in part responsible for what brought us to this point of dis-ease, discomfort and lack of wellbeing. We need to acknowledge that where we are at it is not only due to external factors and events. Even if what happened to us was not within our control, we do have the ability to control our reaction and response to happened. Not seeking help and support, not speaking up and not dealing with consequences are choices that would only keep us in a state of victimhood.
- An understanding that to move forward we need to let go of telling our victim-story. Healing can only truly happen when we make the conscious choice to tell our story differently. Or better yet, start telling a new story – a hero’s story. Every moment of every day we have the choice of what we give power to in our lives. If we keep telling our victim-story, we will remain victims. If we tell our hero’s story, we become that hero. As the narrator of your own life’s story, you can decide how this story should be told.
- An understanding that the only one responsible for healing is you… Healers, therapists and coaches are only there to give you guidance and support; to point you in the right…
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