Cheating is not a small mistake, and it’s not something we as people should condone. But if you cheated, you need to learn how to forgive yourself. If the act has already happened, there’s nothing you can do anymore but become a better person. The only way you can do that is through forgiveness and self-compassion.
Cheating is something that’s way too common. Temptation is high, and you might slip. That doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It can just mean that you had a lapse of judgment. Cheating differs from case to case, and every person reacts differently. One commonality is that guilt often crushes the cheater. But this guilt doesn’t help anyone.
It doesn’t help the cheater take accountability, and it doesn’t help their partner feel better. The best thing you can do is forgive yourself if you’re ever in that situation. Self-compassion is the only way you’ll be able to live with yourself and the best shot you have at fixing things.
Why Do People Cheat?
First, let’s go through some reasons why people cheat. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not just because they are selfish and mean. Some do it for fun and even brag about it to their friends. But that doesn’t characterize most human beings. If you want to forgive yourself for cheating, you need to understand why it happened in the first place. Only then can you use self-compassion to heal.
Emotional Neglect
Studies show that a partner’s leading cause of cheating is emotional neglect. In those cases, adultery is not just about intimacy. People who feel neglected crave to have someone care about them. When they cheat, they also get emotionally involved with that person. You might wonder, why don’t these people break up with their partner to be with someone new?
If you’ve cheated because you feel neglected, you know the reason. It’s because you are afraid that your affair partner won’t love you or the relationship won’t last. It feels like you’re better off continuing what you already have because that’s more stable. Plus, just because you feel neglected doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for your partner. Chances are you still love them and aren’t ready to let go. But the lack of love you feel from your partner could make you distant. Until you fix this, you will be unable to forgive yourself and move on.
You Fall Out of Love
Maybe you are slowly falling out of love and not ready to admit it. In that case, you are much more likely to stay with the one you had an affair with. It’s also much more likely to engage in severe intimacy and show your affection through words. This doesn’t happen too often, but some people even confess their love to the one they had an affair with.
You Crave the Spice of a New Relationship
Another common cause for cheating is a lack of variety. The idea that relationships should be monogamous is outdated. But it’s still the norm enforced by society. Still, that doesn’t make cheating okay. There are people out there who live happy, polyamorous lives. But the people who are too afraid to try it often cheat on their partners. So even if you are romantically monogamous, you still might feel like you need more sexual variety.
In those cases, people will resort to cheating to satisfy their desires. Again, this is …
Click here to read this complete article.
