Do you struggle with perfectionism?
Maybe you think you have to be a certain weight, have a certain job, or have the “right” relationship. But while there’s nothing wrong with having goals, sometimes we take it too far.
Perfectionism is unfortunately a way of life for many women and high-achievers. But it’s also straight-up toxic: no matter how much we want or wish, perfection will never be attained. It’s an artificial standard that we can never meet and it will always end up eroding our own self-confidence and worth.
However, perfectionism is about much more than professional achievement or weighing a certain number. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a perfectionist, there’s still a good chance you have some toxic perfectionist beliefs. (I certainly did!)
So today I’m shining a light on more of the ways perfectionist thinking can be interfering with your happiness and mental health.
Toxic Perfectionist Thinking: 5 Beliefs Blocking Your Happiness Toxic Perfectionist Thinking
Belief #1: Believing You Have To Be Perfect To Be Loved/accepted
This is the big one for people who struggle with perfectionism. We often strive for perfectionism because we don’t believe we can be lovable or acceptable in our natural imperfect state.
This belief is like an addiction because it’s so difficult to get rid of. We fall for the trap because it seems like if we just try a little harder, mask a little more, be a little more, then we will finally be rewarded. Only the reward is a mirage, constantly moving away from you the more you try to get there.
Eventually, this belief will wear down your self-worth (because you’re never ever “done”) and make you feel depleted or exhausted.
For most of us, it’s simply way easier to believe that if we just try a little harder then we’ll be loved than to just let ourselves be loved for who we really are. So what if we worked on being authentically imperfectly us instead?
Surprise!–you are still human. You will make mistakes, big and small. You will say the wrong thing. You’ll do things you regret. But the good news is that so will everyone else. And despite every “bad” thing that you do, you are still worthy and lovable. You might as well learn how to embrace the mess because the mess is part and parcel of being you.
Toxic Perfectionist Thinking Belief #2: Believing Life Can Be Perfect
Perfection is a big myth in the world of manifestation. There are so many manifestation “teachers” out there who sell you on a vision of a big beautiful perfect life. (I’m sure at times it sounds like I’m one of them!) But I don’t actually believe in perfection. There isn’t anyone out there who gets out of the messy pain of being human–no matter how strong your intentions are.
That last sentence sounds scary I know! But if it sounds scary it only means you’re resisting the full human experience. When you embrace the human experience for what it is (Messy. Painful. Imperfect AF!) then you don’t have to be constantly disappointed when your life doesn’t match up.
To steal a phrase from Abraham, we are meant to experience contrast. We need the lows to contrast with the highs. If we were just meant to be happy all the time, we never would have incarnated on this physical plane in the first place. Loss, pain, and suffering are just part of the deal–and in turn, they make the “good” parts of life that much sweeter.
I know it’s hard to embrace those messier …
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