Forgiveness is something all people struggle with. Sometimes, you hold petty grudges when you should have let them go a long time ago. Other times, you forgive people who don’t deserve your kindness. But the worst thing you can do is forgive people when you aren’t ready. Just because someone asks for your forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to offer it.
People often struggle with knowing when they are ready to let go of something that hurt them. Sometimes, you pretend to let go of things in the hopes that you’ll be able to move on. But, of course, everyone always preaches about how forgiveness can heal you, and part of that is genuine. But no one remembers telling others they can’t be forced to forgive.
As long as you do it at your own pace, you’ll be able to move on. But people often pressure others into forgiving everyone, no matter the cost. So, if you’re fighting with your partner, the advice you’ll get will be to move on. If your boss mistreats you, perhaps you’ll brush it off as a workplace scuffle.
Scenarios like these happen way too often, to the point where forgiveness has lost meaning. Now, it’s just a sign of someone having good manners. But no matter what others tell you, you should remember one thing.
Five Signs You Are Ready to Forgive Someone
Never forgive someone unless you want to and are ready to do so. Otherwise, you won’t be able to heal and move on.
1 – You Are Ready to Forgive When You Don’t Want to Dwell on the Past Anymore
After you’ve been hurt or betrayed, chances are you’ll feel the need to reminisce on the past. That could be because you want to relieve the good moments before you were hurt. Or, more often than not, it’s because you need to understand why they hurt you. Everyone wants to understand what happened that made someone else act the way they did.
You might believe that you caused their behavior when you get hurt. So, you dwell on the past to get a clearer picture of what happened. You might find yourself going over the same scenes over and over again. One of the scenes that are most likely to pop up in your head Is the fight.
What did they say? How did you react? Could you have done something better?
You will want to talk to friends and family about everything that went down. But, you might wonder, wouldn’t forgiveness allow you to move on? It does the opposite. When you forgive someone before you are ready, you won’t ever be able to let go of what happened. You’ll have forgiven them through words, but the words weren’t genuine.
You’ll hang out and talk to that person again, which only means seeing them often reminds you of the past. You can only be genuine in your forgiveness after you’ve let go of the past. Letting go of the past is a sign that you’ve come to terms with what happened. Then, one day, you’ll wake up, and their betrayal won’t be the first thing on your mind. That’s when you’ll know you’re ready to forgive them.
2 – You are Ready to Forgive if You Can Talk About What Happened
Forgiveness is a process. You can’t just wake up one day and decide everything is fine now. It would help if you talked things through; otherwise, you’ll …
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