This just in: tips for a happy love relationship!
For some people, love is a fairy-tale. For others, it can be a lot of work.
Every day, I receive hundreds of emails. The most common topic is about how to have a happy love relationship. Depending on each person’s situation, the answers can be complicated, varied, and/or mini-novels. I’ve written articles, a book, and answered question after question over the years, but after a while, people need more advice on how to have a happy love relationship.
Today, I’d like to share with you 5 questions from readers, and my 5 answers that I hope will help you too.
Question 1: Getting Clear on What You Want
Hi Elizabeth,
I used the techniques in Manifesting Love for a month to start a relationship with someone I work with. Now, I am moving back to my own country. I want to use your techniques there instead of waiting for things to develop here, or should I find another job here?
My Answer
The best way to approach this is for you to consider what you want. The answer to this goes beyond whether you want to be in a relationship with the person with whom you work. You need to consider whether you want to move back to your own country or continue to live in your current country. In which country would you be happiest living?
It isn’t so much about your love relationship or the other person. You can create a relationship no matter where you live. It’s even possible that if you return to your own country, your person might move there as well, even if he/she doesn’t currently have a reason to move.
But to know whether you should create a relationship in your own country or to find a job in the country you’re currently living, you first need to consider where it is you truly want to live. Once you know where you want to live, you will know whether or not you should pursue a job where you’re at now, or focus on creating the relationship in your own country.
Question 2: Tips for Aligning with Your Core Relationship Goals
Dear Elizabeth,
I was abused as a child by my grandfather. It created additional abusive relationships with men as a teenager and an adult. Now I can’t think about men without become scared, angry and stressed. I want to be in a happy, loving relationship with a man, but I don’t believe it’s possible. Do you have any advice?
My Answer
It takes a lot of strength to recognize you have limiting beliefs that are holding you back. You deserve a lot of praise for recognizing them and moving forward to clear them.
When limiting beliefs and resistance arise, it’s actually a good thing as they are coming up so that they can be released. What you experience when you think about men isn’t something to get upset about. Rather it’s something to be grateful for because it is giving you an opportunity to let go of the remaining side effects of the abuse you suffered.
Remember that you get to choose what affects you and what doesn’t. You get to choose how you react to situations.
One thing I have learned over the years is that when limiting beliefs and resistance come up, it is because they are attached to a story we’re telling ourselves that no longer helps us. Most often, these stories are connected to events in our childhood.
For you, the negative emotions you experience may be coming from the experiences you had as a small child. Your little girl didn’t know how to handle what her grandfather was doing. She didn’t have the words or life skills that you have developed as you’ve grown up.
You see how you’re reacting when you think about men as something that needs to be fixed. Your little girl sees it as a way to protect you from being hurt again. If you talk to her, you will probably find what she really wants is to be loved, held and told everything is okay and that you will never allow those things to happen to her again.
Remember that you can change your story! When the negative emotions begin coming up for you, take a moment to realign with yourself. Take a deep breath and ask yourself what the story is. What are you trying to tell yourself? What is it that you really need? Take care of your needs and begin working on changing your story to how you can see yourself in a happy love relationship.
Question 3: Rituals for Love Relationships
Hi Elizabeth,
What is a daily ritual I can use to reach my relationship goals faster?
My Answer
There are some great things you can do. You can pick one or all of them.
- Keep a love gratitude journal. Every night, write down 5 things that you are grateful for that made you feel or think about love. It can be big or small. It can be anything from a smile from a stranger, a beautiful sunset, a happy couple, or a kind gesture you did for someone.
- Every day, see yourself as an expression of love and that your purpose is to express love. It doesn’t matter whether you’re cooking a meal, spending time with friends, or are at work, do something with the purpose of being and expressing…
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