I’ve fully read your book and done a lot of the work… I’m hitting road blocks though. This is someone I’m friends with and I’d love to take things in another direction…
Here’s the thing… I’m pretty much a huge believer in LOA and have been Multiverse hopping for 20 years. I know that all we manifest is already out there in the form of another reality that our desire and focus brings into our literal existence… I’ve been “seeing” other realities in my mind for years, and recognize them for what they are. In the case of this situation, I’ll be sitting somewhere fun, doing something, and can suddenly SEE him there with me, enjoying whatever it is… Oh, and when I do the Lying in bed thing, I can just FEEL HIM there with me, like I mean seriously… That spot in your gut that hits you when you think about someone you’ve already been with, the day after when you’re remembering how good it was… I also can FEEL somewhere within me that this is possible, Something in me just KNOWS.
Now for the tough part… I get literally “Embarrassed” when Iook at his picture. I want to do a vision board, but it’s hard due to this. The other problem is how I am manifesting my friends… They all seem to think I should just give up, that if he wanted me he’d have said something by now (we’ve been friends for years but I only recently realized I liked him that way) but he’s dropped quite a few hints recently, like asking me why I come to see him, and when I clammed up, asked me again (he’s a musician) and also he’s said a few times when I’d say “Well, I don’t think I’m going to find someone right now” … he’ll reply “Oh I’m pretty sure you will”… My friends say he’s just being nice. I wish I knew why I choose for them to reinforce all my fears, because in truth I know that all we get is what WE manifest.
I wrote the list, and also the scene, and they’re pretty good, I feel great when I read them, but the thing is, after talking to my friends or not seeing him for a few weeks (no contact and he lives 2 states away, comes here for gigs) I can’t bring myself to open that Word Doc and read it. I get so scared…
The final thing is I’ve struggled for years with my “Visions”… I know they are real deep down, I work as a psychic, and believe me I can manifest ANYTHING else, just by talking about it! Happens every single day at least 20x a day… I’ll say, “Wouldn’t it be great if”…. and boom! That happens! But I keep thinking I’m some kind of psycho delusional chick like in those movies on TV, that I’m not REALLY connecting with him, that it’s just “wishful thinking” and that “acting as if” is being delusional. I hear that over and over, especially when my friends say “Oh just go find someone else, if he hasn’t asked you out by now, he just wants to be friends.”
We haven’t had opportunity to talk alone, and the few times he’s challanged me to open up, I’ve hedged and backed down, walked away or said, “I do that for ALL my friends” if he asks why I did something nice for him. We have tons of mutual friends, and truthfully, I AM known as the “go to girl” for problem solving, so I guess that’s why. He always sits with me when we’re at his shows, even eats with me (something in our circle the guys don’t do unless a girl is special), never talks to other girls, and as I said, has dropped a ton of hints that he wants me to bring it up.
Well, I guess that’s what I need help with. I need to stop thinking that it’s all BS, that I’m some kind of crazy delusional stalker who isn’t seeing parallel realities because no one can do that, that I should just be happy with a friend and “find someone else” or if I am thinking it without friend help “Just stay alone forever”… I know this stuff’s killing me, but I’m so afraid… This guy is truly perfect for me, and although my friends all think he doesn’t and won’t ever want me that way, they all DO agree we’d be perfect together, because we both love exactly the same way. Devoted to one person, and sharing everything with them, while being able to fully be ourselves.
I’m so upset I’m ready to give up. Any advice from you would be great.