In our world, we elevate the idea of having a romantic partner and often consider it the ideal state of being. We see people bemoan their fates whenever they’re single, and some may genuinely believe they’ll be happier if they were only in a relationship. There’s already quite a lot wrong with this mentality, but it gets even worse when applied to things like depression. This diagnosed condition makes everything feel bleaker, and it’s easy to think that having someone special in your life will ease the pain that comes with that.
But a romantic partner won’t fix your depression, and that’s a psychological fact. Here’s why.
1. Depression Is An Illness
The biggest issue with the idea that a romantic partner can fix your depression is simple : depression is a mental illness. Like all other illnesses and disorders, in most cases, it cannot be fixed by non-medical means. And, even when some treatment options include non-medical interventions, such as lifestyle changes or mindfulness, entering a relationship is not one of the potential solutions.
Adding a romantic partner to your life significantly changes your everyday experience. When you’re depressed or have any other type of illness, the very last thing you need is to add more stress – even positive stress – to your life. Significant life changes and even minor alterations to your daily world will make things more challenging.
That’s not even considering all the other elements of an illness that mess with your life. With depression and other similar mood disorders, you can struggle with mood swings, have trouble wanting to take the initiative and be social, and even be unable to accomplish basic daily tasks. Suffice to say that this is not the best time to gain a romantic partner.
On top of that, a romantic partner who knows you want to be fixed by them will only meet frustration and failure. This can make them feel inadequate, cause resentment, or even lead to them belittling or invalidating your depression out of their frustration. It’s a losing battle.
Not that those with depression cannot have healthy and happy relationships. Research has shown that healthy relationships can withstand the effects of depression and even slightly help mitigate symptoms. Those who learn to manage their symptoms and receive proper treatment can continue with the rest of their lives and be successful in all the ways they want to be! But to enter a relationship hoping it will cure any illness is simply not how it works.
2. Codependency, Depression, and Relationships
The expectation that a romantic partner can fix depression has a severe risk of leading to an unhealthy, codependent dynamic. Codependency is a theory in sociology that explains certain kinds of unbalanced relationship dynamics. As the term suggests, this situation occurs when two people become dependent on each other to an unhealthy extent, unable to function correctly without the other person.
In early theories, codependency was reserved for alcoholics and their partners. In the process of recovery, a partner to an alcoholic would tend to “overhelp,” thus accidentally enabling the alcoholic.
The enabling partner would provide endless chances to the alcoholic, allowing the afflicted to continue to relapse while trusting the safety net of their partner. This ultimately harmed the recovery process, often causing the enabler to make countless sacrifices while preventing any long-term change.
The Impact Of Codependency On Depression
Today, we …
Click here to read this complete article.
