STEP 7: The next step is to see this situation from a different perspective.
It is very clear that all these years, you’ve been seeing this situation from one perspective; yours. You’ve replayed it in your head, cried about what happened to you, and blamed this person or situation for how it has affected you, ruined your life, etc.
While I am by no means underestimating the pain that this experience caused you, I know that seeing it from only your perspective keeps you small, keeps you in victim mode, and is not going to free you. So let’s take your power back.
First, I want you to expand your perspective and see it from the other side. Step into the shoes of the person who has hurt you and try to imagine why they could have done what they’ve done.
I’m not insinuating that you justify their behaviors or make up excuses for them, I’m merely suggesting that you try to understand their perspective and why they might have done what they did.
For example, if the person you are trying to forgive is your mom, and you blame her for never being home or never being there for you when you were younger, which made you feel neglected and unloved, which manifested into anger and low self-esteem, you can start to see why your mom could have done what she’s done.
I think we can agree that your mom not being home had nothing to do with her level of love for you. She loves you. That is a fact. Parents don’t do stupid shit because they don’t love you. They do it because they don’t know any better, it’s what they’ve been taught to do by their parents, or they have their own inner wounds, fears, pains, and unconsciousness that they’re projecting onto you.
So try to understand why she did what she did and tell yourself a different story than the one you’ve been telling yourself.
Maybe your mom was never home because she was always working so that she can pay the bills, provide food, and give you a comfortable lifestyle. Or maybe you felt like she wasn’t around because emotionally she didn’t give you what you craved. Maybe you craved more attention, praise, and love but she was unable to meet that need because she was really young, too focused on herself, or she didn’t know anything about how to be present with you and parent consciously (as most parents don’t). Maybe from her perspective she tried her best and gave you all the love she could, but it didn’t meet your childhood emotional needs. So as you can see, from your child-self perspective, it was easy to develop a belief that you’re not worthy of attention and love. But the reality is, your mom loved you, she just wasn’t capable of meeting your emotional needs.
I know that’s a tough pill to swallow, but seeing it from the other person’s perspective makes it so much easier to forgive because it takes the pressure off of you; of not being good enough and lovable, and puts the situation into perspective.
So now that you’ve moved beyond your perspective, I want you to move beyond the other person’s perspective, and see this situation from a HIGHER perspective.
To see something from a higher perspective is to have a bird’s eye view of the situation. It means to see the whole picture, to see what happened in relation to the whole, and to see it from the eyes of a conscious, aware, and wise being, that you can call your Higher Self.
The goal is to try to see that the person who has hurt you has their own lessons to learn in this lifetime.
They came to this world to evolve.
And they evolve through the mistakes they make and the things they experience.
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