Selfish or Selfcare? How I Chose My Self-Care Over My Partner’s Alcoholism

I recently ended a two-year relationship with someone whom I thought was of great worth with great qualities and that checked all the partnership requirement boxes. Buyer beware, not all that shines is of value.

The person I was involved with is very heavily into alcohol. His fits of alcoholism cause him to become angry and melancholic. Alcoholics seem fun at first, don’t they? That is, until you become aware of the patterns and the destructiveness of this disease. When evenings of drinking and chatting went from fun to where I had to be a counselor and therapist to all his hidden emotions, I began to realize that he needed not just energetic healing and release, but he also needed to enter some sort of a recovery program.

While I engaged in this “fun” for a while, I also practiced knowing my limits. But even with my self-imposed limits, I soon realized the harm I was doing to myself, too. I began to see the negative physical effects in my own health and well-being. This behavior was not in alignment with who I am as a healer! What was I doing??? I made the conscious decision to refrain from this activity. As a result of this self-imposed drinking hiatus, it became even more obvious that there was a serious problem beneath the fun he thought he was having. There was no end to the drinking until the bottle was empty. And there was no end to the emotional roller coaster until he would fall asleep from the sheer exhaustion of it all.

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For myself, I reverted to my healing practice to bring myself back into alignment with my path and raise my vibration. This only created more issues in the relationship when I was no longer willing to participate in these all-night drinking binges. There was anger and self-pity in his drinking habits. There was melancholy for a time in his life that never existed. I am certain there is regret in there somewhere, too. I began to practice Reiki on him, and I tried get him to step back from those habits. Unfortunately, the minute I was not around he would always fall back into that pattern. He used loneliness as his excuse for falling off the wagon. He used lack of attention on my part as an excuse, too. The reality is that he found it easier to get lost in this reckless self-destructive act, even if he regretted it in the next day, than to deal with the real causes of his addiction.

Selfish or Selfcare? How I chose my self-care over my partner’s alcoholism

After various attempts to assist in his recovery, I threw in the towel. Even after months of psychotherapy and pretending to be well, the truth always shows its face. He would never understand that as a healer and a deeply spiritual person, I could not be around this type of self-destructive behavior. As an empath, I could no longer handle taking on his energy even days after his drinking binges had passed. As a form of self-care for myself, I would withdraw from spending time with him. He could not see that his drinking simply pushed me farther and farther away. I found this behavior of his to be selfish and…

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