Now, I want to give this article a disclaimer. While being married to an energy vampire can be draining and hard to navigate at times, it should never tip into physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
If your spouse is treating you this way then speak to a friend or family member for support and guidance, and aim to seek support from an official agency, legal system, or therapist.
So, disclaimer aside, it is important to remember that all things in life sit on a scale.
The energy vampire in your life may only exhibit a few minor traits which can be worked upon through discussion and an attitude change.
However, on the other end of the spectrum, you may be married to a full-blown energy vampire, and, if they are unwilling to change, you may need to evaluate alternative options.
This article seeks to discover what an energy vampire is, the impacts of being married to an energy vampire, how you can tell that you are married to an energy vampire, and finally, how you may be able to move forward with your spouse still in your life.
This is the second article in a series on energy vampires, so for a more in-depth look at the basics, please refer to my previous article.
What is an Energy Vampire?
Energy vampires don’t just exist within romantic relationships.
Energy vampires can be found in the workplace, in your friendship circle, and even in your family.
While, as I mentioned, the severity of the energy vampires’ actions is a sliding scale, in general, an energy vampire thrives and even benefits from bringing others down and draining them of their energy.
Where life is give and take, energy vampires, are all take and no give.
Because of this they can often exhibit narcissistic behavior and may aim to seek dominance over others.
Things rarely seem to go right for the energy vampire, and they’ll be repetitively vocal in sharing their woes because they thrive off of the positive energy that you give to them.
Because of this, an energy vampire may be called a ‘party pooper’, ‘Debbie downer’, or ‘Negative Nancy’.
In recent years the term ‘toxic’ has also been used to describe energy vampires.
Can you Have a Happy Marriage with an Energy Vampire?
We all know that couple that makes no sense, but for some reason just work.
They may visually look like two opposites, may have completely different interests or often row but then seem closer than ever.
While not always the case, this can be typical of energy vampire relationships.
An energy vampire is like a leech, over time they’ll suck out more and more of you until suddenly there’s nothing left, and you’re exhausted, physically, emotionally, and mentally spent, and have crippled self-esteem.
Many relationships will break down before this point, however in marriages, where there is much more of a commitment and separation is much more difficult, this eventuality can be more more likely, and recovery can take years.
Of course, this all depends upon the type of energy vampire you’re married to.
Sometimes your spouse is exhibiting energy vampire traits without realizing it, and through discussion and maybe even some marriage counseling, can overcome their negative traits.
Pay mind to the adage ‘there’s no use flogging a dead horse’ though, as some energy vampires are not willing to change.
They may also temporarily change their behaviors as a way to keep you around.
When this happens it’s important to call it quits as long term exposure to an energy vampire can severely impact upon your health.
How Being Married to an Energy Vampire can Make you Ill.
The biggest impact of being around an energy vampire is the massive and constant demand upon your emotional reserves.
However, being married to an energy vampire can also take a toll upon your physical health.
It has been discovered that 75% of women exposed to this kind of relationship can develop autoimmune disorders.
Other physical conditions that those exposed to energy vampires include IBS, adrenal fatigue, Lyme disease, weightless trouble, diabetes, thyroid problems, and un-diagnosable disorders known as mystery illnesses.
To surmise it has been proposed that long-term energy vampire exposure may:
- Cause inflammation on a cellular level
- Dis-regulates your immune system
- Promotes poor habits such as dietary choice
- Changes your brain in a way similar to PTSD sufferers
- Causes neuroendocrine hormone cascade (caused by stress hormones and can lead to Lupus)
How Can you Tell if Your Spouse is an Energy Vampire?
If your spouse possesses any of the traits on this list you may wish to take steps to protect yourself.
While we can all possess these traits now and then (nobodies perfect), what makes an energy vampire different is that a trait or traits will be repeated throughout your marriage.
Trait #1: They Have Little…
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