Connection is the single most essential human need, even more essential than food and water. The story of our life begins with our connection to the mother. An infant cannot survive for long if you deprive him of the mother’s touch, which the former needs in order to feel the connection. The quintessential truth is that this need for connection does not end even into our adulthood. When this need is not met, we feel isolated, giving way to feelings of loneliness and the associated ramifications.
Origin of loneliness
Many of us experience the feeling of dejection and hurts from our primary caretakers, guardians, well-wishers, or friends during our childhood. As children, we are extremely vulnerable and cannot process everything as right or wrong. We start burying the parts of ourselves that are not acceptable by society into the dark recesses of our mind, e.g. a child might carry the feeling of shame around his/her looks because the parents keep criticizing his appearance. This is how we internalize the feelings of shame, guilt, ‘not being good enough’, etc. In order to avoid getting more hurt, we start isolating ourselves emotionally and this leads to loneliness even when we are surrounded by people. The inner state of loneliness then brings even more loneliness from outside, thus perpetuating the inner state of pain.
Besides, in today’s hectic lives, when several parents are juggling with their careers, children feel left out and as a coping strategy, they become independent to the extent where they believe that they don’t need connection. In order to escape the pangs of loneliness, several people indulge in addictions, which could be as simple as a phone/internet addiction or as severe as drug addiction. Many people indulge in work, entertainment, recreation to avoid facing the feeling of loneliness, only to find themselves even more lonely when the external distraction is gone. One could be married, have children and still feel like the most lonely person on the face of the planet.
The remedy
1. Accept
Accept that the need for connection is perfectly human and there is nothing wrong with wanting that. You may be highly independent in everything you do, but you still need some connections which could be either casual or intimate.
2. Heal
Heal your relationship with yourself. Go back in the past when you developed that pattern and uncover why you became lonely. Face it, accept it that it happened, release it and move on. Heal your Heart chakra and Solar Plexus chakra using Reiki. This will help you drop the baggage of the past hurts.
3. Connect
As you improve your relationship with yourself, you will automatically connect with people who bring value to your life. The Universe operates on synchronicities, without fail and without exception. So, create space for the lovely souls to enter your life and your pain will disappear into nihility.
4. Connect with the Divine
Although we may have…
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