Are you sick of feeling like you’re not living up to your potential?
Living the same year over and over again?
Or maybe you just seethe with jealousy when you see friends (or strangers) on social media doing the things in life that you really want to do.
Not so fun fact: I was a hot mess for most of my 20s. I went through all the bad phases: unemployment, underemployment, too much drinking, getting my heart broken in a million different ways. (Fun! 😬)
Obviously back then on the inside, I was miserable. I had no confidence in my career or in myself in general. But instead of fixing that inner emptiness, I focused on distracting myself from it.
(BTW looking back now, I can see that much of that behavior was really a big ol’ Freeze Trauma Response. But that’s a story for another day.)
I’m still far from perfect but I’m miles better than I used to be. And most of the big changes in my life, I made after starting on my own journey of healing and personal growth.
That’s where I learned that in order to change your outer world, you must also change your inner world.
If you’re feeling like I used to (angry, sad, bitter, unsuccessful, etc.) please know, that there’s hope. You can change anything. While you can’t go back and rewrite your past, you still have the power to define your future. It’s never too late or nor is it too hard for you to handle. (And no, you’re not too broken.)
Of course, the path to long-term change takes time. Miracles (usually) don’t happen overnight. But tiny shifts do. And over time, when you keep stacking those little changes and shifts, one on top of the other, then you create major changes.
And one day when you look back, you’ll no longer recognize your old self.
If you’re ready to ditch your old unhelpful habits and negative ways of thinking, this is your beginner guide to getting your sh*t together.
How To Get Your Sh*t Together & Finally Live The Life You Want | 8 Tips How To Get Your Sh*t Together Tip #1: Take Radical Responsibility
One of the most painful lessons I learned after my life as I knew it imploded. All those big problems that I had actually had my own fingerprints all over them.
No, that doesn’t mean I was personally responsible for the actions of my ex. (Nor his words, etc.)
But I was responsible for a lot: for creating that relationship, for not sticking up for myself, for letting myself become a non-priority, and for losing myself along the way. (I had no idea about my codependency back then!)
I also know how addicting it can be to be stuck in Victim Mindset. After all, when everyone else is so wrong that makes you so right! But when you make everyone else 100% responsible for your problems, you will also become powerless to fix them.
While you can’t rewrite your past, you can create healthier systems for your future. But that starts with taking responsibility for the part you’ve played in things so far, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it is to admit.
Which brings me to the second point…
How To Get Your Sh*t Together Tip #2: Acknowledge Your Weak Spots
Pretending we’ve got life all handled is the best way to stay in a rut. Another painful lesson I learned was that ignoring the places where I wasn’t happy and fulfilled actually kept me stuck in that unhappy
