Going on a first date is an exciting, nerve-wreaking experience. However, it’s easy to get caught up in your nervousness that you don’t think to watch for red flags. You likely have a few you notice immediately (like a self-absorbed person). But what about the less obvious things that reveal a toxic person?
Going on a date indicates that you hope to develop a healthy relationship. When things don’t work out, it’s disappointing because it feels like a waste of time. If you see the red flags immediately, you’ll save yourself from spending more time with someone incompatible with you.
Sometimes it’s tempting to ignore red flags because you want things to work out. However, determining early on that someone isn’t the one for you creates space and leaves you open to the right person. It’s not a waste of time when each unsuccessful date gets you one step closer to a good one.
You don’t want to ignore these red flags because they indicate deeper underlying issues. If the person is willing to behave this way on a first date, imagine what’s to come. There’s no reason to continue getting to know them when you can already see the problems.
First Date Warning Signs You Should Not Ignore
You can’t always identify every red flag on a first date, but these are a helpful place to start. They’ll help you weed out a self-absorbed person who doesn’t fit well with your mindset and lifestyle. You deserve to date someone great for you, so don’t settle by ignoring these signs.
1. They Talk Badly About Others and Treat People Rudely
When someone talks badly about others the first time they meet you, it’s not a good sign. You don’t want to spend time with someone who comfortably talks about people behind their backs.
They might say things that indicate something is wrong with everyone in their life, giving insight into how they handle relationships. It shows they have a problem with many people, and it can’t always be everyone else’s fault.
You also might notice that they are rude to others, complaining about the service or not wanting to leave a tip. They’ll be condescending toward the wait staff, leaving you feeling embarrassed to be with them. Talking about others and being rude are signs of narcissism, and it’s best to pass on a second date.
2. They Only Talk About Themselves
It’s not a good sign if your date talks about themselves the entire time. If your date doesn’t ask questions or allow you to share anything about yourself, it’s clear they don’t care. You can’t build an emotional connection if you can’t speak or don’t feel heard.
Another sign that they only want to talk about themselves is that they make your stories about themselves. They might let you finish only to flip it back to themselves without much response. These people are so self-absorbed that they don’t even realize they are being rude.
3. They Disrespect Boundaries
If your date disrespects boundaries on your first date, it’ll be even worse later. Watch how they respond when something doesn’t go their way or when they realize you prefer something different. These behaviors show how they respect or violate boundaries.
Some things to watch for regarding boundaries include:
Ordering you a drink when you said you don’t want one pressuring you to stay longer when you say you have to go touching …
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